Buffy: slayer of the haemophagi
by dirigibee
Summary: "So, what's the deal with the bodies?" Jesse asked. "I know I know, they turn to ash. But a whole body? That's a lot of vampire and not much ash. So maybe they're 99% water or something? Where's the water? Where's all that mass? What? Why are you looking at me like that? -sigh- It's 'magic' again, isn't it". A Buffy AU, where rational!Jesse doesn't die in the name of cheap drama.
1. Memories 1-1

_What if Jesse wasn't the professional loser that he seemed to be in 1x01? I had an idea for a rational!Jesse that I want to explore in a non-super-serious way. This is the first of three short (~1k word) Memories chapters to do some character building on the Jesse insert, and just to have fun with the idea that Jesse was supposed to be as close to Xander and Willow as they were to each other. **  
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><p><strong>Memories 1.1<strong>

"Do you guys think we're alone in the universe?" Jesse asked, looking away from the star-filled night sky to his left where his friends were lying on the grass, enjoying the warm California summer breeze.

"You mean, like, everyone else died half an hour ago from a weird plague, and we're the only ones left on Earth? And now we have to re-populate the Earth, but we can't because there are no girls?" Xander asked without taking his eyes off the sky.

"Hey!" Willow said, then thought for a moment. "Heey!" she said again.

"No, I mean like, beyond the Earth. Do you think there's life on other planets?"

"I think there's aliens up there" Willow said. "They're probably millions of light years away, with long arms and spoogly eyes."

"I think they'd have spider eyes" Xander said. "And spider legs. And spider bodies. They're probably just like giant spiders, but walking around on two legs, using all their other legs for stuff. Does anyone else feel itchy?"

"They're probably not spiders" Willow said. "They're probably more like happy bunnies, or nice clowns."

"Clowns? Thanks Wil. There go my dreams of Ms Bukowski. Now I'll be lucky if I wake up screaming."

"Ew, Xander, gross" Willow said, sitting up and looking at him. "She's like a billion years old, and she's a teacher!"

"Yeah" Xander continued. "I'd like her to teach me a thing or two."

Willow lay back down on the grass. "What does that even mean?" she asked.

"Well, I guess, I'd like her to teach me French, but, you know, naked."

"She's not a billion" Jesse interrupted. "She's only about 30, but that's still 16 years older than you Xander. The number of women with husbands that much younger than them is only about 0.3 percent. Besides, she's an authority figure. She'd get in trouble, lose her job, probably go on some kind of list. It'd be unethical."

"Jesse, you're not related to the New York Killingtons by any chance? Specifically the notable Buzz Killington, of buzz killing fame?" Xander said.

"The one who slew the great buzz of 1929, to the lament of the townspeople?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah that one. You know, I hear he mounted the head of the buzz on his wall as a trophy" Xander said.

"Buzz Aldrin went to space" Willow interrupted. "He was the second man on the moon."

There was silence for a moment, until Jesse spoke. "His words as he stepped out of the lander were 'Beautiful view. Magnificent desolation'" he added.

"You two always make me feel like I need to read more books" Xander said.

"You _should_ read more books" Jesse said. "I lent you about 20 books last year" he paused. "What happened to them all anyway?"

"Oh, well, they looked like textbooks, which are worth a lot of money, so my dad sold them to the second hand book store on 3rd."

"He sold my books?" Jesse asked, quietly.

"Yeah, sorry man" Xander said, turning his head on the grass to face Jesse. "When the little green monster comes calling, you know, he has to scrounge up the money somewhere."

"Who's he jealous of?" Willow asked.

"Oh, no, little green monster is what he calls my mom" Xander corrected.

"What does she need the money for?" Willow asked.

"Oh you know, _little __things_, food, bills. My dad usually spends our money as soon as we get it" Xander said with a sigh.

"What does he spend it.." Willow began, but was interrupted by Jesse.

"What kind of world would you live on Xander?"

Xander paused for a moment. "I think maybe Waterworld" he replied, "If I could be Kevin Costner. Or maybe Westworld. Oh, Weaveworld, you know, like in the Clive Barker book."

"I loved Waterworld!" Willow said excitedly. "The bit with the hot air balloon, and the map tattoo, and the mysterious drawings! And the 'Mutatioon!'" she mimicked.

"Not many people really liked it" Jesse said. "It flopped in the box office, and it only broke even from video sales."

"Bzzzzz" Xander said, lifting his arms off the grass to grasp an imaginary chainsaw. "Bzzzz. Die buzz, die!" he said, slashing in the air.

"Shouldn't you be using a buzzsaw?" Jesse asked.

Xander's arms flopped back to the grass. "You're really making huge strides in the art of shutting me down tonight, Jess" he said.

"What can I say?" Jesse replied. "It's one small step for man, one giant leap for party pooper kind."

The three were silent for a few minutes, before Jesse spoke.

"I think I'd live on a beautiful green world, with rivers and lakes, and mountains. There'd be cities, but small, and the buildings would be made of steel and glass, but most of the city would be underground, and most people would live in the country anyway because travel would be easy, we'd fly around with helicopter backpacks, which would work because the atmosphere would be thick and the gravity would be low. And there'd be no disease, but people would still die, but they could preserve their mind in a computer."

"Would there be clowns?" Xander asked.

"No, clowns would be illegal. And any that were found would be sent to the spider pits."

"I like your world" said Xander.

"Me too" said Willow.

"Me too" said a deep, growling voice.

Xander and Willow both sat up and looked, wide eyed at Jesse.

"What?" Jesse asked, looking at them "I make jokes too."

"Not funny, man, don't scare me like that" Xander said, lying back down. "There was a couple who went missing around here just last month, there could be all kinds of creepy guys or clown murderers around here."

"Pff, buzz kill" Jesse said.


	2. Memories 1-2

_I saw Xander in an episode of Criminal Minds (AKA The Archetypal Detective Show) _the other day_. He looks good! I miss Xander, it's good to see him in stuff again. I've been putting off writing this for a while, because I was so intimidated by trying to make the characters witty enough. After re-watching some of season 1, I have to say I failed. Oh well, characters can't be witty all the time, they have to have some meaty, non-pun-filled conversations sometime, you know?  
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><p><strong>Memories 1.2<strong>

"So, what you're proposing is... I can't even say it" Xander said, nudging Willow forward as he, Willow and Jesse shuffled down the cafeteria queue.

"We stop eating meat" Jesse finished for him.

"We stop... euugh mehh" Xander said. "Nope, sorry Jess. I can't even think about it."

"It's not that big a deal" Willow said from in front of them in the queue. "Just think of all the time you'd save in the wash room. Sloppy Joe day alone.."

"It's healthier, cheaper, more energy efficient" Jesse continued.

"But you have to give up meat!" Xander countered.

"Yeah, but do you really want to eat meat anyway? Think about where it comes from."

Willow fixed Xander with an intense stare. "Poor little cows, and piglets, and hoppy lambs, and chickens.. okay, chickens are gross. But the rest are cute."

"Would it have to be _all_ meat?" Xander asked.

"_All_ meat" Jesse said.

"Even meatloaf?"

"Yes"

"Even luncheon meat?" Xander asked.

"Yes, all meat" Jesse persisted.

"But luncheon meat barely even qualifies as meat. They have to put 'meat-like product' on the label."

"If it contains dead animal, it's out" Jesse clarified.

"What about sweetmeat?" Xander said.

"Do you even know what sweetmeat is?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, it's like intestines, lungs, like what the cafeteria meatballs are made of" Xander replied.

"That's sweetbread" Jesse corrected. "Sweetmeats are fine, they're not a meat."

"Okay, so what about sweetbread, sweet animal bread, it doesn't even have meat in the name" Xander said.

"No, still a meat" Jesse said.

"Well I guess the good ship Dietary Deficiency will have to sail without me" Xander said, using a pair of tongs to drop a pair of sausages onto his plate from the trays on the cafeteria counter.

"That's fine, I guess it will have to be just me and Willow enjoying our karmically balanced diet."

"I don't believe in Karma" Xander said.

"Well" Willow started, "when a giant monster comes and tries to eat you, don't expect us to help. We'll just stand by and watch." she said, turning away from Xander as she ladled mac n' cheese from the cafeteria trough onto her plate.

"We'll remark on the irony" Jesse said.

"Yeah, well when a giant tofu monster comes and tries to swallow _you_ both up, _I'll_ just stand there and laugh. And _I'll_ 'remark on the irony'" Xander put his tray down to make air quotes.

"I don't think a giant living tofu would be evil" Jesse said.

"I think he'd be friendly" Willow backed him up, as they picked up their trays and walked to a vacant table near the edge of the cafeteria. "He'd be like 'Hello friends'".

"'Why not eat some of my body, it's a source of complete protein!'" Jesse said.

Xander looked sullen. After a while of the three eating in silence, Xander spoke again.

"So, finals are coming up, are y'all up for a little elbow to the grindstone study session tonight? I'm fixin' to cram for the exam." he asked.

"Nose" Willow said, Xander glanced at her briefly.

"Sure" Jesse said. "We can use my dad's library."

"It still weirds me out that your family has a _library_" Xander said. "Full of _books_. And that you have a _car_, that your parents didn't sell for _booze money_", he paused and looked down. "I don't have normal expectations."

"I think it's great" Willow said. "All those anthropology books and rare history books. And the journals!"

"Woah, slow down there you crazy book people" Xander said. "You're getting flustered over journals. What's so great about an old diary? _I_ could write a diary. Dear diary, today my friends went crazy, they stopped eating meat. Dear diary, today the tofu beast came and enguled all those who ridiculed my meaty ways."

"Oh, they're nothing special" Willow began, "if you're an 18th century frontier explorer, or a sheriff in the wild west, or a president's aide."

Jesse sat quietly and watched the two bicker, eating deep fried tofu puffs from a Tupperware box.

"We don't have to study in the library" Jesse said around a piece of tofu. "We could go to your place if you want" he said to Xander.

"Nah" Xander replied. "My place is being fumigated this week. By which I mean my parents are filling the air with poisonou_s_ insults. By which I mean I have to play country & western on loop just to shut the noise out."

"That explains why you've been talking all southern style lately" Willow said.

"Yeah, my phrases are getting finger lickin' good" he replied.

"Okay, want to come around to my place at about six?" Jesse asked.

"How about right after school?" Xander asked. "I'm willing to eat crow about the vegetarian thing if that's what your family's on right now."

"Sure" Jesse said. "We can walk there after last period."

Willow finished the last of her lunch and swung her bag onto her back.

"I'm going to go to class now, I want to get there early so I can surf the net a little before the teacher hands out assignments" she said.

"Go, surf the seas of knowledge" Xander said.

When she had gone, Jesse looked at Xander and said quietly "You know, there are situations you can't get out of from the inside, sometimes you can't even see them from the inside."

"Jess.." Xander began, but he was interrupted.

"I'm not saying to try and have an intervention or anything, but maybe someone could slip a business card into the mail, or a pamphlet or something. Just something to let your parents know they're not alone, that there's help out there."

"Maybe" Xander said. "Jesse?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Jesse replied.

"What are sweetmeats?" Xander asked.


	3. Memories 1-3

_**Memories 1.3**_

_"Hey Jesse, what's what?" Xander asked as he, Willow and Jesse were walking into school._

"Big math test".

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Willow told me I have to get something called a 'book' from a place known as 'the library' sounds pretty dangerous, want to come with?"

"Sure, we can go later. I can show you the majesty of the Sunnydale High library math section. I think I counted two whole different books last time I was there."

"Did you see the new girl?" Xander said to Jesse

"One new girl in a school of hundreds? Why would I even notice?" Jesse asked.

"Another clue falls into place in the 'Jesse is a robot' theory".

"I heard someone was transferring" Willow said.

"Well, what's the snitch?" Xander asked.

"Uh, I dunno. New girl" she said. "I have to get to class" she said, walking away abruptly.

"What's her problem?" Xander asked Jesse as they walked down the corridor. Jesse didn't reply. A few seconds later they saw a blonde girl walking out of Principal Flutey's office, rummaging for something in her bag, oblivious to the crowds of students bustling up and down the corridor. "Hey that's her" Xander said, speeding forward towards her.

As Xander approached, the girl walked into the path of another student who was paying more attention to the tall boy she was with than where she was going. She dropped her bag and spilled some of the contents onto the ground.

Xander saw his chance and ducked down to help collect her things.

"Can I have you?" Xander blurted out, groaning inwardly when he realised what he said. "Uhh, can I help you?"

"Uh, thanks" she replied.

"I don't know you, do I?" he asked.

"I'm Buffy, I'm new".

"Xander is me, hi" Xander said, temporarily forgetting how to form a proper sentence in the girl's presence.

"Oh. Thanks" Buffy replied awkwardly, a little uncomfortable at the exchange.

"Xander, did you forget how to speak again?" Jesse said, catching up with Xander and standing behind him. "We've been cramming for a math test, it make our English no work good." Jesse said, covering for the botched introduction.

"There's a math test?" Buffy asked, her eyes going wide. "But I just got here."

"Looks like we'll be fighting over that one trig book they have" Jesse said.

"Yeah, well, I gotta go" Buffy said, getting up to weave away through the crowd of students.

"Hey, you forgot your.. stake" Xander called, picking up a thick wooden stick whittled to a point "Why does she even have this?" he asked.

"Maybe a woodworking project?" Jesse suggested as the pair walked towards their first period classroom.

"Yeah but what, what would you use a tiny stake for? Pitching a tent? We don't even take wood shop this year."

"That's.. a good question" Jesse said. "What do we know about her?"

"Well she's pretty much a hottie" Xander said.

"I meant useful information".

"Hmmmmm. Her name's Buffy, that's useful, for me."

"Great" Jesse said sarcastically. "Okay. Buffy, diminutive form of Elizabeth. So either she has very unconventional parents, or she couldn't pronounce her real name and everyone stuck with it because it was cute."

"I think it was that one, the cute one. Deefinitely the cute one." Xander said.

"If her parents were hippies it could be anything, religious symbol, a weird keepsake"Jesse said, "Or, there's this goth subculture that's into vampires, maybe she's part of a goth counter-culture" he said.

"Jesse, I don't get kids these days" Xander said.

"I know right, it's like we don't know what's cool any more" Jesse replied.

"Maybe she's justbuilding a tiny fence?" Xander said.

"Hey, you guys busy? We interrupting? We interrupting" Xander said, hopping the low wall to where Willow was sitting with the new girl, Buffy.

"Hey" Buffy said.

"Hey there" Jesse offered.

"Buffy, this is Jesse and that's Xander" Willow introduced the two newcomers.

"Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back" Xander said.

"Yeah, we met earlier, but our English skills weren't up to any kind of decent introduction. I'm Jesse, nice to meet you" Jesse said, interrupting what ever wandering farce of a greeting Xander was about to jump into.

"It's nice to meet you guys properly" Buffy said.

"We just came out to find Willow and decided to say hi" Jesse said.

"And return this" Xander said, pulling the wooden stake from his bag. "The only thing that we can think is that you're building a really tiny fence."

"Uh, no. Actually, it's for self defence" Buffy said. "Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passe."

"Self defence? With a blunt wooden stick? What are you fending off, vampires?" Jesse joked.

Buffy didn't laugh, she just grimaced.

Jesse took a guess. "I've guessed your secret Buffy, but don't sweat it. We're open minded folks around here. Live and let LARP, that's my motto" Jesse said.

"Larp?" Buffy said uncertainly, looking around the three teens surrounding her. "Oh yeeah, the larp. Oh the larping I do" she said.

"What the hell's a larp?" Xander asked.

"It's live action role play" Willow answered. "I used to do it with Jonathan Levinson when we were in third grade. It's like playing dress up, but more serious, and sometimes- there are dice."

"You are so nerding me out right now Willow" Xander said. "So, you like role play?" Xander asked, turning to Buffy who was looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Xander, your buffoon is showing" Jesse said.

"My buff..? Oh, right. Sorry" he replied, backing off.

"Sorry" Jesse said to Buffy. "Not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale, you're pretty big news."

"I'm really, really not" Buffy said, looking at her feet.

"Are these guys bothering you?" Cordelia interrupted, coming up to the four from the direction of the quad.

"Uh, no" Buffy said uncertainly.

"I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility" Cordelia said, "but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster -the woman with the chest hair- because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker" she finished.

"That sounds a little rehearsed Cordie" Jesse said. "Is there really a dead guy or are you trying to trick us into releasing our captive popular person?"

Buffy showed no reaction to Jesse, but she was staring aghast at Cordelia.

"It's really a really dead real body" Cordelia said dismissively. "Some guy was stuffed into Aura's locker."

"Dead?" Buffy asked, a little redundantly.

"Way dead" Cordelia replied.

"How did he die?" Buffy asked, an intense expression on her face.

"I don't know..." Cordelia replied, a little disgustedly.

"Well, were there any marks?" Buffy persisted.

"Morbid much? I didn't ask!" Cordelia said.

Jesse looked between the two girls in confusion. The new girl wasa little morbid. Was that another piece of evidence to put on the goth counter-culture pile?

"Um, I gotta book" Buffy said, stuffing her things into her bag and getting up to leave. "See you guys later."

"What's her deal?" Cordelia asked rhetorically.

"She exceeded her daily quota for apathy in the face of death" Jesse said, but Cordelia just ignored him and walked away.

_"__I'm headed off too" Jesse said. "Xander, catch you later in the library?"_

_"Sure Jess" Xander replied._


	4. Gaming Afoot 2-1

_I'm two days late with the chapter, I had to work last weekend and I'm much behind. The actual story begins! The narrator's eye view will follow the deviations from canon. At first this means just following Jesse and the Master, but as we progress and the consequences of their changes spread out we'll end up following other characters and events as well. Also, I always found the Master's stated goal of bringing back the Old Ones to be a little bizarre, wouldn't that just wipe out his food source? And possibly vampires as well – as they're impure half breeds. And that's assuming that humanity as a species couldn't just elbow the demons out into other dimensions like they did during the original human ascendancy. Also, spot the non-canon new character._

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>Gaming Afoot 2.1<br>***********************

"This" Jesse said pointing to the book in his hand "Is math".

"Okay, math, gotcha" Xander said.

The pair were upstairs in the stacks of the gloriously underwhelming Sunnydale High school library. Great if you wanted to check out a book on supernatural folklore from the ancient culture of your choice, much bad if you wanted to learn Math, or English, or any of the other subjects typically taught in a school.

"This" Jesse continued, opening the book to point at an equation, "is trig".

"I.. I think I know trig now" Xander said.

"No, Xander, you just know how to recognise a book now" Jesse said.

"Ohhh, there's more?" Xander said.

Somewhere below them the library doors banged open.

"_Okay, what's the sitch?"_

"Is that Buffy?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, should we go say hi?" Jesse said.

"No, shh, shh sh sh, I want to listen" Xander said.

"Creep" said Jesse, turning to look through the other books on the shelf.

"_Sorry?"_

"And that's Mr. Giles" Xander said.

"_You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?"_ _Buffy said from somewhere below in the library._

"_Yes"_ _Mr. Giles replied._

"_Cause, it's the weirdest thing, he's got these two little little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going 'ooh'?"_ _Buffy said._

Jesse was no longer pretending to look through the books, he was next to Xander by the railing, the two were exchanging perplexed stares.

"_I was afraid of this"_ _Mr. Giles said._

"Are they really talking about..." Xander began, the question trailing off.

"Vampires" Jesse finished for him. "Man, this is bizarre. Either they're both certifiably delusional in exactly the same way, or we've stumbled onto the biggest most hardcore international roleplaying game ever."

"So you think it's all just an elaborate game?" Xander asked.

"As opposed to what?" Jesse asked. "Real vampires?" he rapped his knuckles against Xander's forehead.

"Hey!" Xander protested.

"_I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus! And I don't care"_ _Buffy said below._

"_Then why are you here?"_ _Mr. Giles said._

"Man, working the actual death of a real person into the game is so hardcore" Jesse said, feeling half awed by the dedication, and half disturbed by the callous disregard for life.

"What should we do? Do we tell the Principal, or call child services or what?" Xander asked.

"That's going way overboard. I kinda think we should play too" Jesse said. "Maybe after we find out a bit more."

"_Is he.. will he rise again?"_ _Mr. Giles said._

"_No. He's just dead. To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood, and they have to suck your blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just going to kill you." Buffy said._

"The game world is so in-depth" Jesse gushed. "But why is she explaining things to Mr. Giles?"

"Maybe he's just started playing?" Xander suggested.

"_Why can't you people just leave me alone?"_ _Buffy said._

"_Because you are the slayer. To each generation a _slayer_is born. One girl in all the world.._" _Mr. Giles said._

"_With the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah blah blah_" _Buffy finished for him._

"So cool" Jesse said.

"It kinda sounds like she wants out of this creepy game they've got going down there" Xander said.

"Yeah, maybe she tried to stop playing, but its too compelling and she got sucked back in?" Jesse suggested.

"_Everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real."_ _Mr. Giles said._

"It kind of sounds like he's giving her a campaign synopsis" Jesse said.

"A what?" Xander asked.

"A campaign, like a particular storyline in the game. He's laying it out and seeing if she wants to play it" Jesse said.

"_Hey I know, why don't you kill them?" Buffy said._

"_I'm a watcher"_ _Mr. Giles replied._

"Ahh" Jesse said, realisation dawning.

"Watch a watcher.. what's a watcher?" Xander asked.

"The game master" Jesse said. "He gives the storyline, sets the rules, looks after the game while the players play it."

"_He trains her, he prepares her"_ _Mr. Giles said._

"These guys are going all out to stay in character" Jesse said.

The pair continued to listen to the conversation below – what they could hear of it, anyway – until Buffy stormed out and Mr. Giles followed after her. When the coast was clear the two boys climbed down from the stacks and left the library.

~ o ~

Deep beneath Sunnydale High, in the decaying caverns and buildings that criss-crossed the city, in a ruined church buried by an earthquake decades before, an unholy ritual was being performed. A man surrounded by torch-bearing figures approached a pool of blood, the perfectly smooth surface reflecting the ruined church around it.

"The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake! And the world will bleed!" The man's voice intoned a monotonous litany that nevertheless gave the impression of power and portent. "Amen!" the man finished, turning the invocation into the mockery of a prayer. The man grinned wickedly as a pale figure began to rise from the pool of blood, it's alabaster skin and black clothes untouched by the liquid which surrounded it.

As the figure slowly ascended its face was revealed, bald and with features pinched into a permanent feral snarl. The figure's red eyes looked around at the cave from deep within dark eye sockets and a sigh that emerged from the jutting, incongruously red lips withered in the air like a dying man's last breath. The pale figure raised a hand towards the man, who knelt reverently and grasped the offered hand.

"Master" the kneeling man said, his fanged mouth stretching into a wide grin.

"Luke!" The pale figure said, "I feel as weak as a baby lamb. Tell me, what year is it?"

Luke had a short, slim figure. Either the excitement or the energies of the ritual had triggered the change, causing his face to contort into a demonic snarl and obscuring whatever human features he still retained. His hair was short and mousey brown, falling over his forehead in what modern humans would consider to be a mawkish and archaic fringe, more like the popular image of a monk.

"The year master? Nineteen hundred and ninety seven." Luke said.

"I was asleep for _that _long? Why was I awakened only now?" The Master pondered. "_Ah_. The _harvest_" he guessed.

Luke grinned.

"Yes, master. The right time is at hand, and I have sent some of your servants to fetch you some food."

"Tell me, Luke. How many servants do I have?" The Master asked.

"Master? Be assured, we will grow our strength after the harvest! Once you are free the entire world will tremble at your name." Luke said.

"No, be calm Luke. I just wish to know how many vampires are at my disposal. When we last spoke it was a paltry few, you, Darla and two others. Now, I must know our strength if I am to plan, mustn't I?" the Master explained.

"I.. see, Master. There are twelve of us. Myself, Darla, Absalom, and nine others whose names you do not know" Luke said. ".. and of course Master, there are untold hordes beyond the city who would flock to you, should they learn of your return."

"Yes, yes. Of course. Luke, about the nine new brothers and sisters, I would like to know their names. Would you be a dear, and bring me reports on them – their names, skills, strength, any dark powers which manifested after their rebirth?"

"Reports, master?" Luke asked, confused.

"Yes Luke. Do they still have typewriters in this age?" the Master asked, examining his claws idly.

"Typewriters? Yes.. master" Luke said.

"Good, that would be best. Your handwriting is _terrible_. You don't need to include Darla, Absalom or yourself, I am familiar with your particular talents, and Absalom's _lack_ of them."

"Why do you wish to know of their strength, Master? Does this mean that I will not be your choice for the Vessel?" Luke asked, disappointed.

"Nonsense!" the Master cried, mock shock in his voice. "Luke, my boy, you are my strongest warrior, in life a knight and then a monk, in death my dark crusader. You wield strength and a mighty faith both. There is no other choice of Vessel" the Master crooned.

"Thank you, Master" Luke smiled, sighing slightly and inclined his head. "I will return shortly with your breakfast, Master, and I will try and find.. a _typewriter_."

"Good, Luke, continue" the master said, dismissing him.

The Master was left alone with his thoughts, the other vampire attendants to the ritual having filed out of the cave while he consulted with Luke. The master wandered around the small patch of stone floor that was his prison behind the barrier. '_That cursed barrier!'_ He thought. '_Sixty years trapped in the Hellmouth. If I hadn't thought of creating a hibernation ritual I would probably have withered from starvation, if I hadn't simply gone mad!'_ the ancient vampire thought to himself. '_Even then, it almost failed, the first sacrifices Luke brought to me were.. improper, they would have resulted in a most flawed ritual. Who can say what damage that might have done to my mind?' _Not many things still inspired fear in the centuries old vampire, but the idea of spending decades in a flawed hibernation pool, unaware and helpless as his mind slowly decayed filled him with dread.

'_One Demon' _he thought. '_I needed only one Demon to cement my power below. One true Demon to raise as a banner to the others, to silence my opposition. All I wanted was to rule the world below, was that so much to ask? To have first pick of the humans, and rule the vampire world without question. I didn't deserve to be trapped here.'_

"I didn't deserve it!" the Master shouted to the empty cave. His voice full of impotent rage, he threw his fists against the shimmering barrier that surrounded him.

~ o ~

"Hey Willow. Just who I wanted to see" Jesse said, catching up with Willow as she walked between classes.

"Is it for my charming personality?" Willow asked jokingly.

"I was hoping you could go on the 'net and research something for me" Jesse said.

"Oh? Is it a history thing? Remember our bargain, I get one to look at one book for every thing I research" Willow said, referring to a deal struck soon after Willow had got her first internet enabled laptop, where Jesse would sneak her into his father's library in exchange for files he wanted form the 'net.

"Sure" Jesse said. "We don't _actually_ need to sneak in there any more you know. My dad hasn't accused me of having sticky jam fingers since I was twelve."

"You did like getting' your fingers in that jam" Willow said.

"When will you get a chance to look?" Jesse asked excitedly

"Well, Xander said he might be going to the Bronze tonight, but I'll have some time after school, I'll look then. What were you looking for?" She said.

"It's about a game I found out Buffy plays" Jesse said. "It's like a huge, international roleplaying game about hunting vampires."

"Sounds creepy" Willow said.

"You weren't there! It sounds awesome" Jesse said.

"There?" Willow asked.

"In the library, where me and Xander were hiding, when we overheard her talking to the new librarian Mr. Giles." Jesse said.

"And Mr. Giles is playing the game too? Sounds icky" she said.

"Well, maybe" Jesse conceded. "It didn't sound like anything skeevy was going on, just a wholesome PG-13 vampire roleplay."

"Well, Mr. Giles does seem pretty PG. I guess it's okay, I'll have a look after school." Willow said.

"Thanks Wil!" Jesse said, patting her on the shoulder before moving to leave.

"Oh, are _you_ going to the Bronze tonight?" she called after him.

"Wouldn't miss it" he called back.

~ o ~

Willow pushed a forkful of cheesecake into her mouth from the plate on her desk. She was sitting in her room at her small wooden desk, her laptop computer open to her left and a plate full of cheesecake to her right. She'd told her mom that she had some school work to do before she went out, and she'd been given permission to finish dessert at the computer. Chewing the dessert she pushed the power button on the laptop, heard the start up beep and waited the several minutes it took for the operating system to boot up.

When the computer was running she dialled onto the internet, opened up her terminal program and connected to the Sunnydale bulletin board. The Sunnydale BBS was a forum where the goths, nerds and technological literati of Sunnydale went to talk about stuff relevant to the town. There wasn't usually a whole lot of activity on the board, but about this time in the evening was prime time, in the narrow slice of time between dinner and chores. Once she'd logged in Willow posted a message asking about the game Jesse had mentioned. _"__Real vampire game in Sunnydale? Anyone know about this?"_ with a description of what little information she'd been given, minus any details about Buffy or Mr. Giles.

After posting, she loaded up Hotbot, her favourite search engine and started making searches about live action vampire roleplays that sounded like the one Buffy and Mr. Giles was playing. '_That's still so weird' _Willow thought as she ran searches. _International vampire game. Sunnydale vampire game, Vampire hunter roleplay, Vampires monsters hunter roleplay game _she searched_._ She was disappointed, not by the lack of results – there were plenty, including some less than wholesome results for the searches that included 'roleplay' – but by their irrelevance. None of them seemed to describe the giant, super serious game Jesse had mentioned.

Deflated, willow checked back to the bulletin board and was surprised to see someone had replied to her post. Someone with the username 'darkstar' had replied '_Vampires are no game. Stay indoors tomorrow night. Stay indoors every night'. _

_'That sounds super serious to me'_ Willow thought, sending the user a private message. '_Tell me about vampires' _her message said simply.

She continued searching, and checked back a couple of minutes later to find that darkstar had already replied to the PM.

''_I'll tell you the only thing you need to hear: drop it and leave it for dead'_ darkstar replied.

'_He's kind of rude' _Willow thought.

'_I've met the vampire hunter' _she sent, reasoning that maybe name-dropping would convince the guy that she was in on the game.

_'The slayer is -here-? In Sunnydale?' _darkstar's reply came almost immediately.

'_She sure is, I met her just the other day'_ Willow sent smugly.

_'You stupid bitch. You just give that kind of info out to someone you don't even know? Does she know she's being betrayed? Who's side are you on?' _darkstar's irate reply came back almost immediately.

Willow gaped at the laptop, barely resisting the urge to close the terminal and slam the laptop closed. Finally she managed to get a grip on herself and suppress the offence she felt.

'_I'm on her side! The human side. I hate those icky vampires"_ Willow sent.

A few tense minutes passed with Willow regularly checking her messages. Finally she saw a message from darkstar had come in.

'_Tell the slayer... if she needs help, she can contact me here. I don't fight, but I keep my ears open. Tell her... the harvest is coming'_ darkstar wrote.

'_What's your name? - your real name?' _Willow sent.

Willow waited for a few minutes, repeatedly checking her messages, but no reply was forthcoming. Her internet searches had turned up nothing, and it was getting late so she grabbed her bag and headed out to the Bronze.

Several minutes after Willow had shut down her laptop and left the house, a message arrived in her inbox on the Sunnydale BBS, unseen by her, it was a single word.

_'Diana'._

_~ o ~_

"Hey, Cordelia" Jesse called.

Jesse had spotting the girl from school leaning against one of the wooden supports below the stairs that led up to the Bronze's upper levels. She was the first familiar face he'd seen that night, and he was getting bored waiting for Willow, and maybe Xander to turn up.

"Oh great, I have a stalker" Cordelia said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, you look unusually venomous tonight" Jesse said, leaning against the wooden support next to her.

"Well, I'm glad we had this little chat" Cordelia said.

"I'm bored" Jesse persisted. "Want to dance?"

"No thanks, I've already earned my loser outreach girl scout badge from our talk at school today. Come on girls" Cordelia said, leading her friends away from the support.

Jesse looked around a little nonplussed. He continued to wander around, on the lookout for Wil or Xander. He caught a blonde girl sitting near the edge of the club staring at him. Jesse tried to ignore her, reasoning that causeless hungry stares were probably some kind of warning sign, but as he turned the corner he found the girl had somehow crept up to him, and was leaning against the stair support where he'd just been socially backhanded by Cordelia.

"She doesn't have _any_ taste" the girl said.

"Who? Cordelia?" Jesse asked.

"Mmhmm" the girl said.

"Why do you say that?" Jesse asked.

"Because she turned you down, even though you're _so_ handsome" the girl said.

"I don't actually think there's any chemistry between me and her _at all_, and she's still in kind of in the Aspen bubble." Jesse said. "What did you say your name was?" he asked

"Darla" the girl replied.

"I haven't seen you around before Darla. Are you new in town?" Jesse said.

"I've been away, but I have family here. You'll probably meet them" Darla said.

'Well she's s_uspiciously aggressive'_ Jesse thought to himself. '_I'm a teenage boy, dressed kind of dorky. She's got to be in her mid twenties at least. As far as she knows the only thing that sets me apart is that I look like an easy mark_. _And the thing about her family, she phrased that so weird'._

None of Jesse's internal musings showed on his face, he continued smiling politely at the strange woman.

"Tell me about your family" Jesse said, wondering how clumsy a non sequitor he'd have to drop before the girl went away.

"Well, they're an _old_ family, lived in these parts close on sixty years, but they go _way_ back."

"I live with my family too" Jesse said. "In my parents basement. It's a little cramped, but I have plenty to do with my computer games and comics" he said, testing the girl to try and tease out her motivation.

"I live with my family too!" Darla smiled. "I went away for a while, a _long_ while, but now I'm back."

"So what kind of things do you like to do?" Jesse asked.

"Oh, this and that, invite handsome men like you home for _a bite_" she replied. Jesse suppressed a smile.

"You're beautiful!" Jesse said, "and your skin is so pale, you should get more sun!" he continued, grinning now.

"I'm _not really o_ne for the sun" Darla said, a sour look appearing on her face. Jesse laughed at this, causing her to adopt a puzzled expression.

"Did you see me talking to Buffy, am I a player now, just by proximity?"

"Buffy?" Darla asked. "Who's that, another rival for my affections?" she asked in a voice like curdled milk.

"Yeah, I better go and.. turn her down" Jesse said, smiling. "I'm going to be gone for like two minutes, but don't go away, okay?"

Darla just smiled at him as he walked away.

Jesse looked quickly around the club for Buffy, he didn't see her tell-tale blue jacket anywhere so he ran outside, thinking she might have left for some air. He found her asking Xander about Willow.

"Hey Buffy" Jesse said, jogging up to the pair. "Hate to interrupt, but I just got propositioned by a girl in there and I'm pretty sure she's a vampire."

Buffy stared at him.

"A.. vampire?" Buffy said.

"Yeah" Jesse replied. "She was doing this creepy seduction routine, and she kept dropping these really over the top foreshadowing about hating the sun and having an old family. Oh, me and Xander here overheard you talking to Mr. Giles in the library by the way, sorry. We know about the vampire thing. We want to join in!"

Buffy stood with her mouth hanging open for a few seconds.

"No! Absolutely not! It's too dangerous, and you're not a part of this" she said.

"We _weren't_ a part of it" Jesse corrected. "Then miss southern-comfort-with-a-bite decided she wanted me to take me home to her 'old family' for 'a bite', at 10pm at night" he finished.

"Okay.. okay.. okay" Buffy said, pacing back and forth in front of the pair. "You said there was a vampire" she said.

"Yeah, pretty sure she thought I was a player" Jesse said.

"Right, makes sense, she'd be trying to pick up an easy mark" Buffy said.

Jesse didn't rise to the insult, hey, he'd called it himself.

"And Willow left with a guy" Buffy continued to herself.

"We're talking about Willow, right?" Xander confirmed. "Damn, I hope the guy who took her wasn't a vampire too, on the prowl for sweet naive little girls like Willow."

"You're a little blasé about this aren't you? She could be in trouble!" Buffy stopped pacing to shout= at Xander. She turned to Jesse. "Okay, this vampire, convince her you want to go with her, bring her outside, we'll check, I'll stake" she said to him.

"Okay, fake n' stake, got it" Jesse said, moving to go back inside the Bronze as Buffy continued to pace around.

~ o ~

Buffy stopped pacing and turn to Xander.

"Where would she go? If Willow was taking a guy out where would they go?" she said.

"You're really serious about this" Xander said, noticing Buffy looked genuinely panicked.

"If we don't find her, then there's going to be one more dead body in the morning" she said.

Xander shook his head in disgust.

"It's not cool to talk about Willow like that" he said.

"Tell me about it" Buffy replied absent mindedly, looking out into the darkness.

The door to the Bronze opened and Jesse emerged, being followed by a young blonde woman.

"Buffy, this is Darla, the vampire" he said, once the door had swung shut.

Darla looked at him sharply, a shocked expression on her face.

"Don't look at me like _that, _you made it too obvious. Try hamming it up _less_ next time" Jesse said.

"There isn't going to be a next time" Buffy said, pulling a wooden stake from her shirt and advancing on Darla.

Realising that she was in a fight, if not who her opponent was, the change came over Darla, stretching her face into a ridged, bestial snarl.

"Wow, uh, that's... some.. good make up?" Jesse said, backing away from Darla after he saw her change. Xander was just staring at the scene, apparently frozen in place with his mouth open.

Darla leapt at Buffy and swung her arm to try and deliver a backhand blow to her face, but Buffy raised her own hand to block the attack. Darla was strong, Buffy realised, pain shooting down her forearm where she'd intercepted the swing. Darla continued in the same avenue of attack, trying to overwhelm Buffy's blocks with brute force, which usually worked, but Buffy blocked each overhead swing until she finally saw an opening in Darla's stance. Buffy raised her leg and stomped down on Darla's calf, dropping the vampire to her knees and followed up by bringing her elbow down on the vampire's back.

Once Darla was on the ground Buffy was free to kick her around, literally, kicking her prone form around the concrete outside of the Bronze, eventually kicking her up against the wall. With Darla pained and panting on the ground, Buffy stood up straight and looked like she was about to start speaking, but she caught sight of Jesse and Xander staring at her out of the corner of her eye, and decided she should end it now. Crouching, Buffy pulled a stake from inside her jacket and planted it in Darla's back, straight into the heart. Buffy closed her eyes and held her breath for a second, stepping backwards as the destroyed vampire exploded into a cloud of desiccated dust.

"That's.. some.. good.. make up?" Jesse said desperately, looking at the pile of dust that was all that remained of Darla.

Xander came up behind him and placed a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"Jesse, dude. Vampires are real" he said. "Say it with me now".

Jesse just stood in dumbfounded amazement. A second later Xander started.

"Willow!" he cried, looking at Buffy for guidance.

Buffy took off running in the direction of Sunnydale cemetery, with Xander following and Jesse running after them, a little less enthusiastically.

~ o ~

Buffy and Xander burst through the entrance to the crypt. They'd just heard a scream come from the area, and this was the only tomb who's door was hanging open. They stepped forward and Jesse stumbled through the door behind them. Inside the crypt Willow was cowering against a wall, while the dated DeBarge vampire Buffy had noticed earlier was looming over her. As they looked the face of the vampire contorted into an animal snarl, and he walked towards them, hissing.

"Buffy!" Willow said, edging away from the creature in front of her.

"Well, this is nice" Buffy said. "Well, it is a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows, call it home."

"Who are you?" the vampire snarled.

"You mean there's _actually_ somebody in this town who doesn't know already? That's a relief, I've gotta tell you, keeping a secret identity in this town is a job of work."

Even through the fear and confusion, Jesse noticed something about Buffy's monologue. '_It's like she's performing'_ he thought. '_But for who? For the vampire? No, she's probably going to kill him... un-kill him... dust him. For us? Or for herself? Is she just enjoying the moment? Maybe she is roleplaying in her own way.'_

"Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge." Buffy said, taunting the vampire with the unfortunate dress sense.

The vampire just growled quietly as he approached.

"Now, we can do this the hard way or.. well, actually, there's just the hard way."

The vampire growled and leapt at Buffy. She surprised him, pulling a stake from her jacked and planting it in his chest before he even had a chance to realise what she was doing. The creature exploded into a cloud of dust, clothes and all.

"Buffy, we scram now?" Xander asked, jabbing his thumb at the exit to the crypt.

Buffy looked down at the pile of dust below her and nodded. Together Willow, Jesse, Xander and Buffy left the crypt and began the swift half-walk, half-jog back to the Bronze where they could catch various buses, taxis and rides home. None of them felt like walking back in the dark that night.

Jesse had never had any training in rational techniques. He knew things had changed in his life tonight, but he didn't yet realise how much of a hole the night's events had blown in his world view. All he knew was that he had a thundering headache, and everything around him seemed dulled and dreamlike.

"You want to share a taxi back, Jesse?" Willow said as the group approached the Bronze.

"I need.. I need to think. I need to think" Jesse said.

"Is he going to be okay?" Buffy asked Xander and Willow.

"He's probably just taking it a little intense" Xander said, slapping Jesse on the back. "I bet he'll be back to his stunningly dull and nerd-like self by tomorrow".

The group said their good nights and parted ways, Buffy deciding to walk home, and the other three took a taxi together back to their shared neighbourhood.

l*********************l

_So, I feel super cheesy for killing Darla in the first chapter and I have to explain. In canon, when Buffy followed Willow to the crypt she found Darla and Thomas there with Willow and Jesse. She killed Thomas easily, and then had Darla vulnerable on the floor in about twenty seconds. Maybe Darla was out of practice, maybe she was taken by surprise, the result's the same. _

_The only reason Darla survived that fight in canon is because Buffy stopped to monologue until Luke crept up behind her. Here, outside the Bronze with innocent people and witnesses around Buffy didn't want to stretch the fight out, and there was no secret tunnel for Luke to sneak up through. Events just played out differently this time around, Darla dies. Sorry Darla fans. Do Darla fans even exist? If so, time to switch your fandom to James Marsters, the final destination of all Buffy fandoms._


End file.
